Email samples from the mouth-breathing masses:
The first back and forth - drPump:
|
Site's been up for about a week and here's the first customer: |
From: drPump
[drpump@uplink.net] Sent: Sunday, November 28, 1999 2:00 PM Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron! im so dumb.....i thought id email u.....but i
forgot what i wuz gonna say.......
im dumb cuz i actually went to
youaredumb........lol
all kinds of stuff out here.......this has got
to be the dumbest..........chris/drpump |
| I can't remember how many people I actually responded to, it can't have been more than four or five: |
To: 'drPump'
Sent: Friday, December 03, 1999 10:24
AM
Subject: RE: You're right! I *am* a
moron!
Ever heard of a spell checker? What about
punctuation?
FYM, LOL |
| Would you keep replying back? I wouldn't. |
From: drPumpdrpump@uplink.net
Sent: Friday, December 3, 1999 11:05 AM Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron! brother whitey,,,,,,,,,
i never said u were a moron,,,,,,,,,and yes i
have spell checkr...............y bother.........punk u a
shun..........4who?
hey,,,,im sure there is method to your
madness.....like my email address 4 who knows what......no
matter.......
also i found ur page.........how i dont
remember........but it caught my eye.....so i byte.....lol
keep having fun,,,,,,,,i
am...............looks like u r 2...........
later.......chris /
drPump.com |
| drPump sees the taunt. He thinks it's 'f**k you man' |
From: drPumpdrpump@uplink.net]
Sent: Friday, December 3, 1999 11:08 AM Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron! aaaaaa......... is fym ............f u
man.........aaaaaah......and i thought we were
friends.................later.....c. |
| drPump shows that he can do a 'whois' search. I'm shaking. He also continues to mistranslate FYM - it's not 'f**k you moron', it's 'F**K YOUR MOM' |
From: drPump [drpump@uplink.net]
Sent: Friday, December 3, 1999 5:32 PM Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron! Jason,
I trust that your site,
'youaredumb.com', is in good fun.
Of course I find 'it' a
creative way to get an email address as well as search engine
tracking.
Thank you for your quick
response.
Allow me to
apologize to you for the improper grammar and spelling in our
previous correspondence.
Also being slow as I am,
perhaps I missed the FYM.
The M of course being Moron.
Perhaps I am dumb because
your letter bothered me. As I am sure it is all in good
fun.
Thank You for your attention to this
matter,
Christopher W. Palmer /
drPump.com |
The next idiot - Akil:
| Ok, Akil isn't necessarily dumb, he's just a big dork. | From: Akil C. Narayan [mailto:aky@nwu.edu] Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 1999 12:10 AM Subject: You're right! I *am* a moron! Dear Whitney, My name is Akil. I am dumb. Just how dumb I cannot tell you, for I myself do not know. Please help me in my quest for dumbness. Purely dumb, Akil Akil Candadai Narayan A.K.A. Ak, Aky, Akybaby, Akybaba, Ackul, Auckul, Harish, Hashish, Canibis the Infidel, Flashy Slick Suave Spanish Guy, etc., etc., etc. Northwestern University McCormick School of Engineering 2400 Sheridan Road, Room 329 Evanston, IL 60201-2984 (847) 332-6694 Aky@nwu.edu AOL IM screen name: Aky of GCHS ICQ #52529392, Akybaby |
| The name's not Whitney, it's Whitey, Ms. Jackson if you're nasty... | Sent: Friday, December 03, 1999 9:31 AM To: aky@nwu.edu Subject: RE: You're right! I *am* a moron! Nice nicknames, Akybaby. Let's see... I'd say that you're doing quite well on your quest for dumbness. The name is Whitey, not Whitney - sorry to disappoint. I'd say that on a scale of one to ten with ten being the absolute pinnacle of stupidity, you're a solid eight. Keep up the good work. Out. WHITEY - see, no "N" |
| Aky killed the whole responding to the morons thing. It's just too boring. |
From: Akil C. Narayan [mailto:aky@nwu.edu] Dear Whitey, I thank you for the complement about my
stupidity. I've been diligently working on it for all my
life. I hope you enjoyed my letter. Please feel free to
respond to my dumbness any time you choose. I'll be looking
forward to it... |
Now some garden variety idiots. You might notice some rather large gaps in time between the beginning and the end, it's because I killed the pc where 99% of my moron mail formerly lived. It went something like this: Got the applications and digital photos backed up? Check. Got the music and videos backed up? Check. Ok, reformat. Two weeks later I realized that I'd lost this fantastic wealth of over 200 pieces of idiotic correspondence. Keep 'em coming, morons.
| I think I'm awesome too, ask anyone that knows me. |
From: "Keith Ponis" <darkdynasty@hotmail.com> Subject: You are Cool! Date: Fri, 03 Dec 1999 18:06:52 GMT
Awesome WS I thkn you are
awesome! |
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From: Jslink29@aol.com Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 22:07:36 EDT
Subject: I'm a f***ing moron!
u are stupid |
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| This jackass hit 'send' without actually typing a message. Hail the king of the morons. |
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2004 07:09:04 -0500
From: "Goldberg,Mark A."
<MGOLDBER@travelers.com>
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Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2004 09:22:48 -0500
From: "Wright,Melissa D."
<MDWRIGHT@travelers.com>
Dude! Where’s my car? |
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| Look kids - it's a gansta-talkin' Aussie! G'day dawg! |
From: "dldoeven" <dldoeven@eftel.net.au> Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2004 11:24:07 +1100
yo what up son picachica yeh wot dog i am dumb |
| Because 'whattheshit1' to 'whattheshit1357' were taken. |
From: "David Thomas"
<whattheshit1358@hotmail.com>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Wed, 03 Mar 2004 18:58:25 -0500
hey whats up. just wanted to let you know your site
is awesome. keep up the good work. jake |
| By junior year you won't have time to reply to silly email requests. You'll be busy pulling a train. |
From: Sophmorebaby1@aol.com Date: Thu, 4 Mar 2004 20:39:04 EST
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
ok |
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From: Whiteland40@aol.com Date: Sat, 6 Mar 2004 00:54:48 EST
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
hello |
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Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2004 17:18:11 -0500
From: "Rush, John" <jrush@archtest.com>
I am dumb |
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| Pat: why are you surfing weird websites at church? Hmmm? Maybe.... SATAN? |
From: "Pat Kahnke"
<pat@stpaulfellowship.org>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Wed, 10 Mar 2004 20:54:33 -0600
Hi, Bryan: Yes, I am a freaking moron. Let me in... Pat |
| What? |
From: ElvisElvis527@aol.com Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 15:18:44 EST
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
i'm so stoopid!!!!i don't no how to say the word that you spel "queer" |
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From: "Michelle Turner" flanner4@netdoor.com
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 16:36:41 -0600
i am soooo stupid as hell !!! by: i don't no who???? |
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From: "Courtney Turner"
<lucky12@netdoor.com>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 16:40:39 -0600
if i be's stupid you be's stupid up in herre's !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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From: "Alain and Joyce"
<ajfarmer@travel-net.com>
Subject: freaking moron! Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 18:40:40 -0500
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| Sean lives here: http://maps.yahoo.com/py/maps.py?Pyt=Tmap&&csz=LAKE_OSWEGO+OR+97034&Get%A0Map=Get+Map His daddy's an orthopaedist. Sean is a gerbil felcher. |
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 2004 08:31:52 -0800
From: "DIPAOLA, SEAN"
<DIPAO66402@loswego.k12.or.us>
hey fag boy |
|
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 2004 18:21:33 -0000
From: "Richard F. Killick"
<Richard@unimatrix001.co.uk>
I’m a loser and I smell like poo signed by dom and
so r u for making this website |
|
| I can't either. |
From: "Eric Josserand"
<EJosserand2@austin.rr.com>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Mon, 15 Mar 2004 00:54:48 -0600
I am the biggest fucking dumbass in the world. I cant believe I clicked this link. Wow! |
| Derek tries this approach first. |
From:
"john smith" <derekmolson@hotmail.com> Subject:
I'm a freaking moron! Date: Tue, 16 Mar 2004
18:06:34 -0800 i i put aa cheez in mi toe anded pazzed out for a hole
minnut.i i u also gotted a fissy and putted it it in my asf,.ave u ever
doned that fore. duh
huh huh! |
| It took him 12 minutes to cook up this witty addendum. |
From: "john smith"
<derekmolson@hotmail.com>
Subject: READ THIS Date: Tue, 16 Mar 2004 18:18:57 -0800
you are DUMB! who the hells going to buy a website
with a few words!that is DUMB! i bet hardly anyone goes onto your DUMB ASS
website! do you have a freakin brain you DUMB piece of crap. I HATE YOUR
WEBSITE! IT SUCKS ASS! so add something too it or get a whole different
website and put it to good use. you are truly a f*cking |
| Hi Stupid Natalie |
From: "d645"
<d645@glenmoor.bournemouth.sch.uk> Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2004 14:07:31 -0000
im stupid natalie |
|
From: "Simon J Edwards"
<simon@sjedwards.com>
Add to Address Book Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2004 22:35:50 -0800
i am... |
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From: "Simon J Edwards"
<simon@sjedwards.com>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2004 22:36:28 -0800
i am stupid...cause im not really this
person...soo..this person...is dumb to let me do
this. |
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Date: Thu, 01 Apr 2004 15:27:22 -0600
From: "Jessica Jacobs"
<c7jacobj@elmbrook.k12.wi.us>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
hi
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From: "becky cerro"
<shining_articuno@hotmail.com>
Subject: im a freaking moron Date: Fri, 02 Apr 2004 00:10:01 +0100
i am a moron. i am 17 yrs old. i like pokemon! and
i like to play with my friends. they are all younger than me. i am too sad
for anyone else to make friends wit! |
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From: "dee" <buttstick2@unitz.ca> Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Fri, 2 Apr 2004 14:49:15 -0800
im a freakin moron. and i like to hump
boys. |
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From:
SwimQueen14578@aol.com
Date: Thu, 8 Apr 2004
22:54:15 EDT Subject: your a freaking moron!
you r a moron!!!!! not me or my peeps! lol 2 u!!!!!!!!! loser! |
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From: "Nick Marzano" <supanick@comcast.net> Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2004
21:01:03 -0700
i am a freakin
moron |
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From: "CraigAHL" <craig@ahollywoodlegend.com> Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2004
19:57:14 -0700 i am dumb as
shit |
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From: Unradtad@aol.com Date: Wed, 14 Apr 2004 02:13:33 EDT
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
im dumb
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| From: "Tom L D Johnson"
<tldjohnson@ameritech.net>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 15:43:38 -0400
umm sorry but you must be really dumb to make such
a stupid website. go do something productive moron oh and please dont take that literally I just feel sorry for people like you |
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From: AmySLake@aol.com Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 20:40:04 EDT
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
im a iteit!
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From: "Amy" <fulldomination@hotmail.com> Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Fri, 16 Apr 2004 11:58:56 -0500
I farted on my teacher while she was writing on the chalk board. She wrote me up and I got ISS |
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From: "Nick Marzano" <supanick@comcast.net>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2004 11:41:29 -0700
you little piece of shit I am going to come over to your house and make you fuck with a sheep!!!!! FUCKER |
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From: "angry visitor" <Yusuke987@hotmail.com>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Tue, 20 Apr 2004 20:36:48 -0700
you are a freaking moron you idiot. you wasted your time to make a web sit that no one knows about. Anyway who would insult their self. |
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From: "Gerry Burchat" <gburchat@sympatico.ca>
Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Wed, 5 May 2004 19:03:14 -0400
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| Freddy here repeated his line 120 times. I edited for readability. |
From: "Fredric Biltz" <dric@localnet.com> Subject: I'm a freaking moron! Date: Thu, 6 May 2004 00:00:45 -0500
and the piano kept on drinking.... and the piano kept on drinking.... and the piano kept on drinking.... and the piano kept on drinking.... and the piano kept on drinking.... and the piano kept on drinking.... and the piano kept on drinking.... and the piano kept on drinking.... and the piano kept on drinking.... and the piano kept on drinking.... |
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From: "Adam Vivian" <Fred_Fredish@hotmail.com> Subject: I'm a freaking moron, and love your site!
Date: Tue, 11 May 2004 20:30:30 +0100
Dear U,
i'm ahuge fan of your site! I visit it everyday,
sometimes twice!
people say i am a dumb ass, and thats why im talking to
you
does this make me dumb. i've put
my dick in a toaster
i cant tie my sneakers my girlfriend
went off with my brother who is a cop
i burnt my hand on a pop tart when i put my hand in a
shmores one
tank you for readin this
from fred
boulton |
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| Tea cakes didn't send a message either. Just clicked the link and hit send. Lazy moron. |
From: "Tea cakes" <shorty_adam@hotmail.com> Subject: I'm a freaking moron!
Date: Thu, 13 May 2004 12:12:26 +0100
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